Feel like a Monster
by louisesnape
Summary: Bruce was about to close his eyes as a new song began playing, and he listened distractedly to the lyrics. As the words slowly sank in he felt himself still in his chair, frozen. He must have looked like a deer caught in headlights because Tony suddenly looked quite alarmed. (UNLIKELY GUEST series Part 1)
1. Feel like a Monster

**Author's Note**

Title: Feel like a Monster

Author: Louise Snape

Summary: Bruce was about to close his eyes as a new song began playing, and he listened distractedly to the lyrics. As the words slowly sank in he felt himself still in his chair, frozen. He must have looked like a deer caught in headlights because Tony suddenly looked quite alarmed.

Timeframe: This fic happens a few months after the Avengers movie, so not taking into account Iron Man 3, Thor 2 and all the rest. I wanted to finish and post it before Age of Ultron, so here you have it :)

Genre: I went for _Humor_ and _Hurt/Comfort_, but I've always had some difficulties choosing those categories, so if you think it should be something else feel free to say so ^^

Rating: T because of the swearing and all that ;)

Disclaimer:

*The universe and characters are Marvel's

*The song is _Monster_ by Skillet

*The last sentence of the fic is from _Blue (Da Ba Dee)_ by Eiffel 65

*The rest of this nonsense was made up by 'Louise Snape's Mind'™ :p

Warning:

*This is my first Avengers fic so the characters are probably – most certainly – a bit OOC. It just came to me when I heard Skillet's song, and I had to write it. I never imagined writing a Bruce POV either before this. I like my fic in all its OOCness, and if you don't, well sue me :p

*But most importantly, this is my first ever fic in English. Until now I've always written in French. As I have no Beta, and if you find any notable mistakes, don't hesitate to correct them in a review ^^ I'll be grateful for any help I can get to perfect my English ^^

Well, that's it I guess. Enjoy, and leave a comment when you like ^^

* * *

**Feel like a Monster**

Bruce was sitting in front of a microscope in Tony's workshop. Why he had accepted to come work down here was beyond him. Especially since the billionaire had graciously gifted him with a nice bright, quiet and Hulk-resistant lab a few levels above them in Stark Tower. Quiet being the most important element right now. Well, Hulk-resistant might be a good thing too at the moment. Because the music that was blaring out at an exaggerated volume over the speakers – maybe some Black Sabbath as Tony's T-shirt suggested – wasn't doing any good to his already fragile nerves.

Bruce really didn't understand why he had accompanied Tony to his lair. It certainly wasn't to help him; the supposed genius was playing around with a barrel of liquid nitrogen, his thick welding gloves the only protection against the cold. Smashing objects to little pieces for fun was not Bruce's thing... The Other Guy would love it though. And if the shit eating grin Tony had thrown his way earlier was any indication, he knew that all too well.

Bruce peered through the microscope again. Not that it held any useful information. His cells looked exactly as they always did. He sighed. The disturbing news from Asgard that Thor had brought about three weeks ago must be the reason why he wasn't in his lab. He had been thinking about it non-stop, and he couldn't concentrate on his work. He couldn't stand the silence. The solitude. He needed a distraction, so he had accepted to 'help' Tony when he'd asked. He was starting to regret that now, what with the slowly growing pain in his temporal lobes the engineer's musical choices were producing and all that.

He could have gone outside... No, not with what had happened last time. He didn't like crowds to begin with, and the bustling streets of New York were like torture. It was so different from Kolkata. Here, even with a whole street full of people, you could feel utterly alone, and all those times Bruce was bumped into... Not a good idea. It had only been a few months now since the Chitauri invasion, but life in the city went on like nothing had ever happened. Just a week after all the destruction, you could see people continue their daily business, walking around the debris as if alien attacks were just a normal, monthly occurrence. He didn't understand how they managed to do that.

After the whole ordeal, he could have gone away again – he could have fled, really. Maybe gone back to India. But as hiding from S.H.I.E.L.D. was obviously impossible, and because now that he was a member of the Avengers, General Ross couldn't touch him again... He'd had no genuine reason to say no when Tony had asked him to stay. And the prospect of a real laboratory was as good an incentive as any.

The only problem was, he couldn't really go get some air if he wanted to. Bruce liked going outside from time to time, and the roof of Stark Tower didn't really count. So at some point he had gone down to the streets, walking in the general direction of Central Park, when he got mobbed. Sometime during the weeks following the attack, the tabloids had put two and two together and had printed his story. Where they had gotten those accurate details and those crystal clear pictures was a mystery. Anyway, one second he was walking as if invisible in the crowd, and the next shouting fans – yes, fans, New Yorkers were unbelievable – were asking him a thousand questions, and some even demanded autographs! Luckily a couple of policemen had been nearby, attracted by the commotion, and he managed to convince them that if he didn't go back to Stark Tower right that instant, the Other Guy was going to come for a visit. The situation had not been _that_ dire, but the excuse had been too perfect not to use.

He hadn't gone out again since then, so he'd been stuck inside for a few months now. The Tower was big enough so it wasn't exactly a problem but… He still had the feeling he was a prisoner of sorts. He wasn't like Tony who liked to stay in his workshop for weeks on end. And now with the bad news Thor had brought Bruce had been feeling rather edgy. (Tony on the contrary seemed a bit… giddy). He didn't really want to be alone, even though he didn't know why. Hence why he was in Tony's underground workshop, unable to accomplish any real work while being harassed by loud music.

Bruce massaged his temples for at least the third time this morning, and he sighed heavily through his nose, the sound drowned in the heavy metal song Tony was humming along with. He reclined in his chair and watched the engineer play for a few minutes with his frozen objects. Bruce was about to close his eyes as a new song began playing, when Tony started frowning slightly and lifted his head, puzzled. The style was maybe a bit different, so Bruce supposed another playlist must have been launched, and listened distractedly to the lyrics.

_The secret side of me_

_I never let you see_

_I keep it caged_

_But I can't control it_

_So stay away from me_

_The beast is ugly_

_I feel the rage _

_And I just can't hold it_

As the words slowly sank in Bruce felt himself still in his chair, frozen. His eyes were growing wider by the second and he couldn't have moved a muscle even if he'd wanted to. He must have looked like a deer caught in headlights because Tony suddenly looked quite alarmed. The genius' lips moved, probably saying the name of his A.I., but Bruce couldn't hear him. The only thing existing in the universe right now was the lyrics of this song and his paralysed body.

_It's scratching on the walls_

_In the closet, in the halls_

_It comes awake _

_And I can't control it_

Tony had stood up and was walking towards a computer interface, throwing his gloves on the ground. From where he was, Bruce couldn't see what he was doing, but he couldn't care less. The Other Guy was slowly creeping to the forefront of his mind.

_Hiding under the bed_

_In my body, in my head_

_Why won't somebody come and save me from this?_

_Make it end!_

Something wet touched his cheek, but he couldn't move his hand to wipe it away. The Other Guy's presence was becoming stronger and an overwhelming sadness almost made him choke. Where was this coming from? Sure, the lyrics felt eerily accurate, as if someone had written them while thinking of him. But still, even if a song managed to touch one's heart, this wasn't the usual reaction! Why did he feel paralysed because of some stupid music?

_I feel it deep within_

_It's just beneath the skin_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

After uselessly hitting screens and keyboards, Tony left his line of vision again while screaming J.A.R.V.I.S.' name, and the A.I. answered something Bruce couldn't understand. The only thing he could do was listen to the ongoing song.

_I hate what I've become_

_The nightmare's just begun_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

Tony appeared in front of him, unveiled worry and a hint of fear in his eyes.

_I, I feel like a monster_

Bruce felt the engineer's hand on his probably green tinged arm, and its sudden absence when he was pushed over his mind's edge.

_I, I feel like a monster_

Pure agony rushed through his veins while bones broke and mended in milliseconds, muscles stretched and tore, and his whole body changed and grew while the Other Guy took over, and Bruce was left a spectator in his shared body.

_My secret side I keep_

_Hid under lock and key_

_I keep it caged_

_But I can't control it_

Instead of his usual cry of rage, it was with a heart breaking wail that the Hulk made his presence known. The last thing Bruce witnessed before the Other Guy closed his eyes was the blurred vision of a flabbergasted Tony through spilling tears.

The Other Guy was crying! What…? How…? The Hulk was a rage monster! He wasn't supposed to act like… this! Like… like a three-year-old who got lost or something! This wasn't supposed to happen! He had found a way to control it all, hadn't he? Unless someone conked him on the head, the Other Guy didn't come out on his own anymore. He had mastered it, damn it! This made no freaking sense!

_Cause if I let him out_

_He'll tear me up_

_And break me down_

_Why won't somebody come and save me from this?_

_Make it end!_

Bruce heard the lyrics as if they were coming from far away, interrupted by the sobs and hiccups from the Other Guy. Maybe it was Bruce's fault for getting so affected by this stupid song. Or was it? Was it him who had felt like that, or was it the Hulk? In the beginning, when he had heard enough for the words to stab him directly in the heart, he had felt kind of frozen, sure, but not paralysed. Not yet. But then… When that tear had fallen on his cheek… That hadn't been him! That had been the Other Guy, he was certain of it!

_I feel it deep within_

_It's just beneath the skin_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

Bruce felt like there was something moving in his hair, but unless the Other Guy deigned to open his eyes… Ah, there it was! As the huge green eyes blinked away the wetness blurring his vision, Bruce could finally analyse the situation. The Other Guy was kneeling, the desk he'd been working at overturned, the chair probably squashed under him. And in the Other Guy's arms, hopefully in better shape than the furniture, was a wet, still perplexed but resigned, Tony Stark. It was his hand awkwardly patting the Hulk's head that Bruce had felt.

"Hey Big Guy! You ready to let go of Tony now? 'Cause he isn't a big fan of this 'Teddy Bear' status."

Slowly but surely, the Other Guy unwound his arms and Tony slid to the ground. He then pulled himself up using the edge of the overturned desk, and Bruce could see that the engineer's legs were shaking slightly. Tony then shouted over the growing volume of the chorus for J.A.R.V.I.S. to stop this racket at once.

"I am sorry, Sir. I have cut all power to the surround sound system, however music is still coming out of it. I cannot explain it, Sir."

_It's hiding in the dark_

_Its teeth are razor sharp_

_There is no escape for me_

_It wants my soul_

_It wants my heart_

While Tony seemed to be debating the impossibility of the situation with J.A.R.V.I.S., the Other Guy was still sitting in the same position on the floor, still sobbing to some degree with a dropping wet face.

_No one can hear me scream_

_Maybe it's just a dream_

_Or maybe it's inside of me_

_Stop this monster!_

Just as Bruce was starting to doubt the reality of the situation, the lights flickered to a sub-aquatic kind of blue green, and a manic laugh reverberated in the workshop, half drowning out the chorus. No way! No f…

"No fucking way!"

_Yes, just like he said_, thought Bruce. Or maybe not. Because Tony hadn't uttered the phrase in surprise and outrage, but with a grin and breathless anticipation. Bruce felt his heart grow cold. Well, that explained it! That explained why Tony's anger at Thor's news had seemed so fake. He had actually enjoyed the news, and had been waiting impatiently for a visit! Well, here he was at last. If only he could have left Bruce out of it.

"A song, really? That was your evil plan? Isn't that just a little bit too easy?"

"It worked, did it not?"

Tony laughed. "That it did, Reindeer Games, that it did. It's frigging brilliant!"

"Of course. Your mortal minds are so weak; there is no need for elaborate plans. It worked even better than expected. 'Go figure', as you Midgardians would say."

Loki cocked his hip and leaned against a worktable, folding his arms over his chest and his lips displaying their usual smirk. Tony mimicked his position and they started a friendly looking banter.

_Why don't you chat around a cup of tea while you're at it!_ Bruce screamed at them from his mind. And the Other Guy, oh how dare he! Bruce would have thought that at the sight of his foe the Other Guy would finally come to his senses and smash that alien's smug face in. But his sobs had just become louder for an instant and tears had welled in his eyes again. Well, wasn't that just peachy! Unless the Other Guy calmed down, he was stuck, and with the song playing over and over again that wasn't likely to happen soon.

What the heck was wrong with the Hulk? Why did he act like a little boy facing his bully? This was just Loki's petty vengeance. Loki, who had been thrown around like a ragdoll last time the Other Guy got his hands on him. So the trickster had opted for the safe option of mental torture. Understandable. The real question was why had it worked? It was just some stupid song…

"How did you find this song anyway?"

"I was sipping a latte macchiato in a café – you mortals have invented some delightful drinks, I'll give you that – when I heard it. I thought it would be perfect for my plan. And I was right, as usual."

"Right. 'I feel like a monster'. Must have hit a nerve! If only I could have seen your face when you heard it! Priceless, I'm sure! Which café did you say it was?" Tony asked innocently, and glanced at the ceiling for just half a second, probably to signal J.A.R.V.I.S. to start the search.

"I didn't. And you will not find anything. The surveillance system happened to be dysfunctional at the time." The smirk never left Loki's face.

"That's too bad. I hope you don't mind me checking anyway."

Tony winked at the god. Winked, for crying out loud! What the fuck was he doing? Trying to charm his way out of this? And why hadn't he geared up yet? Was J.A.R.V.I.S. having trouble with the armour, like he did with the speakers? It didn't exactly look like it. It looked more like the engineer had purposefully forgotten he was Iron Man, or that Loki was an enemy of Earth for that matter. He was fucking flirting with the lunatic, Bruce was sure of it now! Oh, Tony was soooooo gonna regret this! Bruce would show him what he looked like when he was _really_ angry!

"Sir, the footage you requested is unavailable. The surveillance system seems to have been hacked at said moment," J.A.R.V.I.S. interrupted.

Loki lifted one eyebrow at that, and his lips obviously depicted an I-told-you-so smirk.

"I regret to inform you that I have as of yet not been able to restore communications with the rest of the Avengers or S.H.I.E.L.D., Sir."

"That's okay Jarv'. Loks is here on a friendly visit."

"Am I?" Amusement shone in the trickster's emerald eyes.

"Sir, shall I send Dum-E for refreshments, then?"

"Yeah, you do that. I'll take the usual."

"Would that be Scotch, Sir?"

"Of course."

"And for you, Mr Laufeyson?"

Loki's smug smile fell at that. He suddenly looked thunderous.

"_What_ did your machine call me, Stark?" All playfulness was gone from his voice.

"Hey, don't call him a machine, that's mean! And he called you by your surname. But if you prefer Odinson, that's fine. We just thought you had a grudge against that Odin guy, so I didn't correct J.A.R.V.I.S. when he started referring to you as Laufeyson."

"That… that is not the issue."

Loki had walked a few paces while Tony talked, and he was now standing closer to the man. His hands had clenched into fists although they stayed at his sides, and he would not meet Tony's eyes. The god glanced at the Hulk at some point, and Bruce thought he looked almost bashful… As if that was possible! This was just another act, he was certain of it.

"Then what?" Tony frowned, but then realisation seemed to hit him. "Oh! Wait, you didn't know we knew? Thor told us a long time ago, dude! Why do you think I refer to you as Frosty!" Tony laughed at that.

"Frosty?"

"Hey, can I see?"

"See what?" Loki asked with a closed off expression.

"You know what! Come on! Pretty, pretty please!" Tony joined his hands together in the universal sign of begging, and his eyes had that puppy dog look he usually reserved for Pepper Potts. That did not seem to sway the trickster, however.

"No."

"Aw, come _on_! I just want to see! How cold does your skin get? Just cold or, like, I-just-froze-your-fingers-off cold? Or is that just some magic you can turn off at will? Or do you need that… what's it called? That casket thing? To change. Isn't that just some really cold box? And when they say red eyes, is that dark red, or ruby red, or…"

As Tony continued babbling, Loki was looking as aggravated as Bruce felt. This was becoming more and more surreal. This was just a nightmare. It had to be. He would wake up in his bed, drenched in sweat, the covers on the floor because of all his tossing and turning, maybe even with a headache, but all would be fine and shit would not have hit the fan like it had now. Tony would not be acting like a lovesick fan boy, and Loki's muscles wouldn't be shaking with unspent rage while clenching and unclenching his quivering fists.

"So, that casket thing."

"Casket of the Ancient Winters, Sir," J.A.R.V.I.S. said.

"Yeah, that. That's just like an ice cold cube, right?"

"Stark!" Loki's voice set off warning bells in Bruce's mind.

"So, if I do this…" Tony spun around, grabbed the big canister of liquid nitrogen with both hands and flung its contents right in the alien's surprised face. For a frightfully long second time seemed to freeze along with the god's hair and sleeves, and the glacial fog plummeted to the ground as quickly as Loki's rage seemed to rise to astronomical proportions.

"STAAAAARK!" The Frost Giant's low baritone was accompanied by a foreboding growl.

Tony had barely the time to utter a startled "uh-oh" before a sapphire-coloured hand seized him by the throat, and flung him on the flat surface of a worktable like he weighed less than nothing.

Bruce started to panic, but there was nothing he could do. The Other Guy, who had stopped sobbing some time ago, seemed utterly unconcerned. He was just saying "blue man!" over and over again like some two-year-old who had just discovered a new word. Bruce sighed inwardly. They had broken the Hulk with all their idiocy. And now Tony was going to be throttled by an alien nutjob while the Other Guy watched on, as useless as the Jolly Green Giant. Well, good for them. Bruce was _done_!

"Sir!" The A.I.'s voice sounded almost panicky. "Are you sure you do not want to deploy the suit now?"

Bruce witnessed with horror Tony's almost imperceptible negative shake of the head. Had he completely lost his mind? No, no, he was _done_! That was _it_! He didn't care anymore what happened to the supposed genius.

"Loki… You know…," Tony croaked, his face red from lack of oxygen. He coughed, and continued in a strained voice; "You look… _cough_… gorgeous like that."

Startled, the Jötun's grip visibly lost in strength, until he released the already bruising throat and straitened; still pinning the engineer down with his other hand, covering the arc reactor. Tony coughed again.

"Seriously… _cough_… that colour really suits you." Tony took a few deep breaths and cleared his throat a few times.

"Stop jesting, human." The frown had returned on the Frost Giant's face.

"I'm serious, Loki. I think it's really cool – no pun intended. Who am I kidding, of course pun intended," Tony smirked. "But Frosty, I don't get why you don't like being blue, 'cause you're stunning! Not that you're not attractive when you're, well, not blue… But seeing you like this almost makes me wanna be batting for the other team, if you know what I mean."

Tony winked again, and to Bruce it seemed as if Loki's cheeks had taken on a darker shade of cerulean.

"Stark, Frost Giants are monsters! I'm…"

Tony laughed, interrupting the god and making him look ready to throttle him again.

"Don't tell me you really believe that! You're millennia old! You should know better. To you Asgardians, the Frost Giants are barbaric, and we 'mortals' are weak and stupid. Well, no offense, but to us it's you 'gods' that seem stupid and barbaric. It's all… how do you say that again? Oh, yeah, in the eye of the beholder. You're the one who decides if you're a monster or not."

Loki, completely stunned and speechless, staggered backwards as if reeling from a blow. The engineer slowly sat up, never loosing eye contact with the Jötun.

"No… I… They rejected me! Left me to die because I'm a runt!"

"Yeah well, no offense but obviously Laufey wasn't the brightest, I'll give you that. And anyway, being a giant is very impractical, ain't that right Big Guy?"

"Blue man!"

Tony blinked twice. "That's right. And a very pretty one at that!"

"I'm not 'pretty', Stark! Pretty is for women."

"Well, you're the one acting all whiny because you think that the most awesome skin colour ever doesn't suit you. And the one rejecting super cool ice magic because you don't want to be associated with that stupid Laufey guy."

"I'm not…"

"Accept who you are. You know what, you should try singing 'Let it go'! It worked pretty well for Elsa!" The genius erupted in laughter.

"Don't compare me to that weak-headed blonde!"

"Wait, what? You've seen Frozen? Oh my god, this is hilarious!" Tony doubled over, still perched on top of the worktable, and held his stomach while he shook with unrestrained hoots of laughter.

Loki folded his arms over his chest with a huff, his puckered lips looking suspiciously like a pout. "So have you."

"Yeah, well, movie night obliges. And it was Steve's and Thor's choice. Clint kept comparing you to Elsa."

"As did you. I know; I was there."

Tony's eyes bulged. "You were? But… how…?"

Loki lifted one eyebrow. His skin was slowly returning to its previous colour and his eyes were emerald again.

"Right. Magic. Well, next time feel free to join us. You know, in person. It will be fun." Tony's smirk had found its former flirting quality.

"We will see."

And with a 'pop' Loki disappeared, the lights returned to normal and the music stopped. Tony hopped down from the worktable.

"Well, that was fun, wasn't it, Big Guy?"

The silence seemed to have brought the Other Guy out of his daze, and Bruce could feel him slowly relinquish the hold he had over their body; about to fall asleep so he could change back. Just before he was forced into unconsciousness, Bruce could swear he saw Tony genuinely smile and heard his voice reverberating in the large lab, singing:

_I'm blue, da ba dee da ba da_

**THE END**

* * *

I hope you liked it ^^ I'd love to have some feedback, being it to correct any mistakes or to simply to say "I like" ^^ And who knows, I might be persuaded to write a little sequel ^^

**edit :** The sequel is called The Unexpected Expected Visitor and is available on my profile.

**louisesnape**


	2. Message about the sequel

**Author's Note**

This a little message for those following this story:

The sequel called The Unexpected Expected Visitor is now available on my author's profile, so take a look ^^

Thank you for your time.

**louisesnape**


End file.
